Thirty years. This is the number of years I was blessed enough to spend Christmas Eve with my Grandfather. Too many traditions, too many laughs, too many memories of a loved one to count.
Thirty years was a long time. An amount of time for which I will forever be grateful. Yet, I would also give anything for it to have been 31, 32, or even 40+. In this sentiment I am far from alone. My Grandmother had spent 64 Christmas Eves with her husband. My Mom, 58 Christmas Eves with her father. My Dad, 39 Christmas Eves with his father-in-law. My brother, 33 Christmas Eves with his Grandfather. My husband and sister-in-law, 10 Christmas Eves with their Grandfather-in-law. My children and niece, 4 and 2 years with their Great-Grandfather/Gipa.
As a result, it was hard to think of Christmas Eve without my Grandfather. And even harder to think of life without him. Yet, along with our blessings of the Christmas Eves of the past, came the notion that we had the luxury of celebrating a life well lived and were honored by the memory of a loved one.
So when Christmas Eve planning rolled around, just 3 short months after he went to Heaven; the idea of a day celebrated in his honor became obvious.
What transpired in my household was a day dedicated to the memory of a loved one, while coming together as a family to celebrate Christmas Eve as in years past.
Setting the Mood
Wanting to give the instant feeling of happiness and fond memories when thinking about the day ahead, I set out to create a bright invitation that would lead to smiles instead of tears.
The invitation created was virtual and simple, but it definitely got across the initial message of celebration and love. The day was termed “A Very Gipa Christmas” and the invitation was as shown below. Before I fail to mention, in retirement my Grandfather (and Grandmother) played the best version of Santa (and Mrs. Claus) possible. Pictured below on the invitation was actually him.
Decorations
Decorating for this special day was dominated by pictures. With so many Christmas Eves spent together, it likely comes as little surprise that the photos of Christmas Eves including my Grandfather would be plentiful. I simply printed them all off and got to decorating.
While the decorations would definitely fail to be featured in any interior design magazines, they were exactly what we needed as a family… happy, joyful reminders of the memories we all shared.
Pictures, Pictures, and More Pictures
I attached photos to strings on the wall, to pillars, and even to the Christmas tree.
Next, I framed photos and included messages.
I even framed a photo of him as Santa (a piece of decor that has since become a staple for our household Christmas decor).
Clothing Items
Next, I included a very large bear that donned my Grandfather’s red sweater and wore his famous Santa hat.
Lastly, I chose an open chair near the dinner table and placed his Santa jacket over the top. I then framed one of my favorite Christmas printables about celebrating the memory of a loved one (available for free download here) on Christmas and saving an open chair down on earth for them to be with you.
Christmas in Heaven, what do they do? They come down to earth to spend it with you. So save them a seat, just one empty chair. You may not see them, but they will be there.
Menu
Our menu consisted of my Grandfather’s staples. His love for cashews and peanuts. Sugar-free treats due to lifelong diabetes. A bar menu that proudly displayed his love for non-alcoholic beer (Sharp’s) and a photo of how he’d decorate his bar for Christmas Eve when hosting. Lastly, the main menu was that of Buffalo Chicken Chili, as I had a photo of him eating the exact dish.
The table, where we all sat as a family to eat, included assigned spots based on pictures of my Grandfather with each family member on Christmas Eve.
Entertainment
Along with the constant conversations and laughter that flowed from the endless displays of photos, I wanted to re-create a memory my Grandfather so loved. Given music was such an important part of his life (having owned a music store with his father and having had his own band for local events), my Grandfather would always love when we lit candles as a family and sang Christmas songs. A tradition that fizzled out as we aged but definitely required a reintroduction on this day. (The candles below were the same ones we used over 20 years ago as shown by my Grandfather in the photo below. Caption below picture read, “Leading the band once again… this time in Heaven.”).
Gift Giving
After the idea of a “Very Gipa Christmas” came to be, I quickly got to work in creating memorable gifts for each of the family members. The remainder of the day was spent opening gifts, while sharing a tear or two reminiscing on happy memories.
Pillows
Asking my Grandmother for my Grandfather’s collection of old clothing, I opted to take his sweaters and sweatshirts and turn them into pillows for each household. The back of each pillow including a photo of my Grandfather with a message reading, “This is a shirt that I used to wear. Whenever you hold it know that I am there”. Tutorial on how to make the pillows here.
Scarves
Using the same sweaters, I decided to purchase additional fleece material and sew infinity scarves for all the women in the family.
Bears
Next, I used one of my Grandfather’s famous flannel shirts and sewed miniature scarves. I then purchased soft and fluffy matching bears and attached the scarves. These bears are now known as Gipa bears to my children and were gifted to my children and nieces.
Golf Ball Markers
I then found a vintage photo of my Grandfather playing golf in the 1950s. I decided to use this same picture and turn it into golf ball markers for the men in our family who also adore golf. Now, whenever they golf, they have little reminders of my Grandfather with them.
Fingerprint necklaces
After my Grandfather passed away, I assisted in his funeral planning. It was during that time that I reached out privately to the funeral director and asked him to obtain my Grandfather’s fingerprints before cremation. I used these fingerprints, along with copies of my Grandfather having written his name “Dave” to my Grandma and “Dad” to my Mother, and had custom name and fingerprint necklaces made for my Grandmother and Mom.
Photo Book
Lastly, I took all photos (the same ones displayed around the house) that were of Christmases past and combined them into a Gipa Christmas photobook. This book was gifted to each household to be looked through each and every Christmas from then on.
Reflecting on the Day
The entire celebration not only honored my Grandfather, but it provided a coping mechanism for our entire family to coast through the first Christmas Eve without him and in sharing the memory of a loved one. Choosing to focus the day on the joy and happiness of all the years we had together allowed each and every one of us the comfort and support we needed. While Christmas Eve will never be the same without my Grandfather, we will always leave him an empty chair so he can come down from Heaven to spend it with us.
If you too have lost a loved one, wishing you peace and comfort this holiday season.
Have you found unique way to honor the memory of a loved one on Christmas? I’d love to hear!
